Being Independent

   

 

 

Not connected with another or with each other; separate.

 

That is one of the many definitions that I found on the word INDEPENDENT. I have become disturbed with the way my generation has embraced no needing anybody. We are all individuals that's true, but we can't exist without one another. We have become so ego driven that we don't even possess common sense. I'm so sick of hearing women say, "I don't need a man for shit". And the fellas that say women are only good for sexual pleasure. Those two perspectives explain why relationships between black men and women are so dysfunctional. Imagine if your father said he didn't need any woman at all, you probably wouldn't be here today. When will we wake up and understand that we all need somebody? That old saying, "it takes a village to raise a child", was true. We can all see that without the village in place, the lost generation has been produced.

 

I'm not going to act like having a sense of self-reliance is bad at all, there is nothing wrong with being a self-motivated person. I just dislike the fact that needing help along the way is now viewed as a weakness. We all need somebody else at various times and for various reasons.

 I will Blame It On The music for this trend that needs to stop!

What are your thoughts on this? If you can't respond on here share it on my Facebook page.

       

   

December Challenge

 

Today marks the start of a new week and the last day of November. It's a perfect day to reset and prepare for the last month of 2015. I've decided to challenge myself and do the things I've been planning to do. A lot of times life gets in the way of our goals, the time is now though. No more procrastination or making excuses, its time to execute. I challenge every one to be the person you were destined to be and that might not happen over night. It starts by planting a small seed everyday and staying consistent even when you don't feel like it. WE ARE ROYALTY!!

The Prototype

“All most women want is for their man to make them feel like they're the only girl in the world.”

 

How the hell can you feel like the only girl in the world? So you want dudes to lie to you huh?The previous quote always seemed like a selfish demand to me and I made it known everytime a woman uttered anything similar.

 

 Until I laid my eyes on her!

She had skin that shined like the sun, perfect as if baby oil just secreted from her body. Chocolate complexion like the best tasting candy bar. Her physique was also a work of art, perfectly proportioned. (She had a nice ass)   Such a beautiful sight to see. Although all of these things could be used to accurately describe the Queen, they only scratched the surface. She demanded attention from everyone, without saying a word. What intrigued me most about her was the fire in her eyes when she spoke about her passions. It led me to believe that she could not be stopped by anything or anyone. I enjoyed watching her share her experiences as she explored her artistic abilities. My first thought was to immediately tell her how I felt, but.......

The FEAR crept in.

“What if she is already in a relationship? Maybe I'm not interesting enough for a woman of her caliber. I'm sure she wants a guy who's already established financially.”

It took me weeks to approach her, I figured I had nothing to lose. So I proceeded to slide in her DMs

“Hello beautiful, I'm Eric. I like your energy and the way you present yourself. I would love to get to know you better. Here's my number (313) 529-5843 feel free to contact me anytime. Have a great day.”

I waited with great anticipation, sure that my confidence would be rewarded. After a few minutes my phone began to vibrate, she responded.

In my mind a new love was on the horizon, but........

 

she wrote back

“Thank You Eric for the compliments I truly appreciate you. Unfortunately I'm not interested in any male friendships, I'm focusing on my journey to master self-love.”

After the intial blow to my ego, I began to smile. How could I be mad at that answer, her response only intensified what I felt about her. I thought to myself, this woman is “the one” if she exists at all. The only girl in the world quote didn't seem so foreign to me anymore, I think I finally get it. We never had a physical interaction or even a phone conversation, but she challenged me in ways I never experienced. It was her essence and existence that inspired me to become a better person. It was a feeling I could hardly explain.

One word descriptions usually helped me remember people, but she was so much more than a empty interpretation of words, she was a feeling like no other, she was a once in a lifetime type of lady.

She was THE PROTOTYPE..........

MY LETTER TO THE SISTERS

    

 Letter to Black Women

Too often in this generation we're reminded of the division that exists in the Black Family structure. Our relationships are so damaged and fragile to say the least. We're constantly the butt of jokes and exposed to ridicule, most of which is self-inflicted. I want to start off by saying that I appreciate you melanated Queens, mothers of the earth. If you ever feel like no one cares about you, I want you to think again. It is because of you that we all have life. Because of you we know what beauty, strength, perseverance and ambition is. Your presence is so calming and necessary. Understand that I'm here to be of assistance to you, we don't have to compete. You don't have to be less confrontational or ignore your needs, for us to get along. You are not beneath me or anyone else and if people tell you anything different then they don't deserve you. I plead with you to set your own standards of beauty, society has lied to you all this time. You don't have to straighten your hair or show your assets in order for me to see your worth. You don't need to alter your body to catch a good guy or to get a few likes. Your physique was handcrafted like no other. Your smile lights the world, you're perfection in my eyes. You are royalty and I'm here to remind you if you forgot. Lift your heads up and wear your crown with dignity, the world will fall in line all because of your example. I love you and will always have your back, front, side or whatever you need.

Signed, King Eric

We All Need Fellowship and someone to speak positivity into our lives.

A few days ago I was feeling discouraged about my business and finances, just life in general. I really needed a word of encouragement and I got a call from my uncle. After our twenty minute conversation it was like a breath of fresh air, I realized in the moment that we all need one another. Too often we wait until we need a favor to pick up the phone and talk to our loved ones. It shouldn't take a person going to jail or being in the hospital for people to reach out and display unity. I'm a person that is more secluded with my personal life, I don't let a lot of people in my inner circle. I won't say that it's a flaw but that is a problem because when I'm down or discouraged I just let it build up. Granted no one to wants to sit up and hear me complain about my problems, I recognize we all need to communicate better with each other. In grade school we're all a part of these groups and cliques that help us feel like we belong to something and have a little support. As adults those groups are hard to come by, families become distant and so does most friends. It's obviously a part of growing and maturing, I just feel like our collective selfishness leads to the separation. Too many of us take the stance that we don't need anybody, but that is far from the truth. In this world each individual is a part of a greater collective, the sooner we realize how much we need one another the better our lives will become.

Throwback Blog

In honor of throwback Thursday I decided to share something from my past. The was the first blog that I posted nearly two years ago. I'm not a famous writer or a household name yet, but I'm proud of my progress, not only in my career but in my personal life. I've grown so much since that first post. I appreciate everyone who takes the time out to read my words and I hope that I inspire someone to follow their dreams!

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Individuality

When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Everyday people struggle to recognize who they really are. So who are you? What do you see when you look at yourself? Where do you see yourself going in life? What does your life mean? What things do you love about yourself? I ask these questions because nobody asked me these things growing up. Nobody asked me where I wanted to be in five years. It didn't matter because I was always stuck worrying about the present. So when I went on job interviews, I had very little to say. When people asked me to tell a little about myself, often I sat in silence. All this came from not knowing who I was.  I'm from a rough neighborhood. I grew up on blocks infested with guns, drugs and violence. Although I rarely took part in any of it, I seen it everyday. I identified with the things I saw everyday, it became acceptable. I knew that my life was greater than my surroundings and circumstances, but I didn't see a way out . I often wondered why God protected me from the many temptations and bad things going on around me. I always felt the need to resist but I didn't know why. From an early age, I understood that I wasn't meant to blend in. My life wasn't created for me to be normal. God made me to stand out. I was placed here today to tell you that you're meant to stand out also. You won't always get the response you would like, if you choose not to follow the crowd. I've been called so many names I lost count, but I didn't care. My own "friends" called me soft. When people were following the crowd, I always went the other way.  I had the characteristics of a leader, but I didn't know. I feel like now its my purpose to help others recognize the greatness that lies within them. We aren't meant to be followers, but everyone isn't a leader either. Which one are you?

Repay me with your life.

 

I saw a meme on social media today that made me wonder. Why is that every time a person gets in a relationship, they're reminded of who their ex was? I never understood why people thought that a man should stay with the woman he struggled with and vice versa. Let me rephrase that, if you have a happy/healthy relationship there is no need to explore other options. If you are unhappy in a situation it's in your best interest to work on it or part ways. I will admit my generation embraces being on to the next one. We rarely stick things out, viewing everything and everyone as disposable. The issue I have is the idea that since a person was down for you during hard times, you owe them your life. There is no way you should spend any time in a relationship that doesn't make you happy. Who came up with the you owe me mindset. I feel like it's ok to be selfish when you're dating, that's the only way you will find out who's for you. What do you guys think? Should we stay with a person who struggled wit us? Is it disloyal to move on?

THINGS CAN CHANGE FOR THE BETTER!!

When my mother passed away I felt like my world had ended. My heart contained a chronic pain that could not be explained. It caused me to reject any type of love people attempted to show me. I became very isolated because I didn't want to open up to anyone, I couldn't do it they would eventually hurt me was my mentality. I put a lock on my heart and threw the key in the trash. It's funny how time changes things, I'm now searching for that damn key/ I want to experience the fullness of love, the only thing that is truly priceless. I'm at a point where happiness is not an afterthought, this day seemed non-existent back then. I want to encourage anyone who is going thru something that is weighing on them. Trust that you can and will see better days, know that there are people who understand what you're experiencing. Don't deny the pain you feel, everything won't be ok all the time. Just know that you were built to win and you have what it takes!!!!

The Beauty Bazaar 9/20

Here at Dirti Minds we embrace being different and unique, we're all about covering events that aren't typical. Last Sunday I had the pleasure of being a media invite to the Beauty Bazaar, it was definitely the place to be. The weather was very accommodating and the atmosphere and vibe was even better. Initially I didn't know what to expect leading up to the event, I just knew it would be a positive event for women of Detroit and surrounding areas. The person that coordinated the entire event was Camille Gavin, she's a Vision/Life coach, Business owner/Consultant, motivational speaker and a marketing guru. I walked away thoroughly impressed with her ability to plan and execute the details of the Beauty Bazaar.



There were vendors which included Fashion Junkie, Xcuse Me Boutique, Pure Romance by Denetra, J' Aroma Candles amongst others. A panel of beauty and health experts also were in attendance to share their vast knowledge and insight on a myriad of topics. DJ asset was the person in charge of keeping the guests festive and entertained and she did a great job. Radio personality and social media superstar Deelishis was the host and she was the perfect person to host the Beauty Bazaar.

The entire event was put on to highlight and promote businesses plus beauty and health services. Extreme Aviance Beauty Bar is a place that offers makeovers for the women in attendance. They provide make-up services, lashes, facials and they also do nails. Its a one stop shop if any lady has to achieve the perfect look. Nichole's Luxurious Extensions is a full service hair salon that will assist ladies with anything they need done to their hair. Right now there's only one location but Nichole does have a traveling assistant and she plans to have multiple locations in the future. The final business that was highlighted is Chloe's Chic Boutique. It is a perfect place to shop for women with style and flair. The owner Nikki loves fashion and was inspired to start her business for that reason alone. Chloe's offers one of a kind pieces that were displayed in the mini fashion show put on by the beautiful employees. Nikki says that she keeps up with the latest fashion trends by consulting the younger generation. She plans to have multiple locations with Atlanta and Los Angeles as her preferred destinations.

All three of the previous mentioned businesses are located at 28660 Southfield Rd. Below I will also list their social media handles. I encourage anyone looking for beauty services to visit the suites of these individuals, you won't be disappointed. Also any business owners looking for exposure and marketing help Camille Gavin is the lady to call. She offers a very affordable hour sit-down and consultation for her clients, you can reach her on social media. (@ Camille Gavin)

Follow the three previous mentioned businesses on Instagram @extremeaviance, @chloechicboutique and @nicholesluxuriousextensions.

Book Update (Blame It on The Music)

For the people who've been wondering about my book release, I still don't know exactly when it will come out. I am completely finished writing and it's also been edited. There is a hold up on my end because I keep learning more about self-publishing. I took this route because I wanted to be independent with my work. I decided to take my time because publishing is a business. I want to make the proper business decisions when it comes to my book. This project has been a stressful journey but I welcome the responsibility. I plan to become a wealthy, best selling author off of Blame It On The Music, so I will properly prepare. I'll admit I didn't know what the hell I was doing in the beginning and I'm still not completely savvy in this field. It's a humbling process that has prepared me for success. With all of that being said I hope people who are interested in my book still support it when I'm able to share it with the world. Also I have started a Go Fund Me campaign to assist with the publishing costs, I appreciate any help I can get.

Black History: August 29th (Remebering Micheal Jackson and Katrina)

 

  

Today is an important day in world history. Its the day that the King of Music Micheal Jackson was born. This guy left a great void when he passed away. He is a person who was vilified while alive and he's celebrated in his death. Despite the alleged controversy surrounding Micheal, his music will live forever.

   

Also a tragedy took place on this day ten years ago, August 29, 2005 Hurricane Katrina struck New Orleans, Louisiana. It was a deadly disaster, approximately 1,833 people lost their lives as a result. I can still remember the images of dead bodies floating, survivors grabbing anything they could to float on. They were literally holding on for their lives, the roof of the Superdome barely stayed in place. So many people lost their homes, belongings and loved ones. It was a reminder that the government could care less about the impoverished blacks who dwell in the ghettos across the country, in my opinion. Kanye West spoke out and voiced his thoughts saying, "George Bush doesn't care about black people." So many people had to leave their hometown and live all over the country.  The media covered the entire thing as if it was a movie. The people of New Orleans will never fully recover from the tragedy.






                                           

Throwback Thursday!

         Back In the Day

 

 

           One of the things that I miss about my childhood is the consistency. Back then we didn't have to worry about having time to hang out, it was routine. Our parents didn't have to kick us out the house, we often begged to go. There was no worrying about getting in shape, we ran around from sun up to sun down. There was a new adventure each and every day. Everybody stayed outside as late as we could and woke up as early as possible, just to get out the crib and continue the fun. The summers were epic all the time compared to now. We rode bikes like it was a sport. There was no urge to seek adventure because it always showed up unannounced. I can't believe we were all in a rush to grow up, this adult thing sucks. Some days I sit and wish I was a kid again!!!

Sipping lean and popping bars; Unhealthy trends

 

What's up with these young people who feel like it's cool and trendy to basically become dope fiends? The past couple of months I have been thinking about the glorification of drug use and abuse. I recently volunteered to coach in a youth basketball league and one of my players added me on Facebook. The first thing that I see when I view his page was a red cup full of lean (cough syrup/sprite). These kids are now following trends that says its cool to take prescription pills and drink lean to get high. We've all seen the health risks that these poor choices present, a few entertainers have lost their lives as a result. I'm from the hood so I know how easy it is to get almost any drug, but how has it become a recreational phenomena? Are the rappers/entertainers responsible? I will say that they play a part in the glorification of certain trends, some good, some bad. I know that its getting out of hand and I hate to see the youth led down this destructive path. Let me know what you think about this subject. Can we blame it on the music? Should rappers be held accountable for their influence (persuasion) of drug abuse amongst the youth? Does this issue fall solely on the individual or their parents? What can be done to reverse these trends?